:'-)

some times 

its good to

cry alone.

Alone Again

How dumb could i be

Superficial connections

they mean nothing at all

Still Searching for the truth

for the one who would stay

for the one that would 

make me happy...

But as i have know all along

it is but a dream

and my heart will still

be incomplete

now

and forever more

wow. just wow

So... This is awkward

Well she finally texted.

After so long.

she saw me.

said i looked tired

and texted me.

Why? i dunno?

i couldn't turn her away

when she needed help.

she did thank me for that

even though she was studying with the dude.

guilt? or just being friendly

maybe she did have feelings

or maybe i was wrong.

she and him were together

probably are truly together

and it hurt. it really did.

trying to be friendly.

Brutal. simply brutal

What the actual flying fuck.

How how how?

well whatever.

just affirmed that 

i am unlucky or

just fated to be alone. 

STUPID SHIT

what am i doing?

Stupid stupid stupid

how dumb can i be?

i am letting myself get hurt again

i am opening up when i know i will be hurt

i know it. and yet i cant stop myself.

the feeling of being undesirable just lingers.

and as i watch her with others.

how she is.

and i know it.

i know i have no chance.

and yet maybe just maybe.

who am i kidding.

i am destined to be alone.

A reboot? maybe

So its been a while since i have been on here.

probably because i am pretty non committal when it comes to theses things

and by theses things i mean sharing my feelings.

i doubt there is anyone that truly reads this anyway.

---------------------------------------

well guys. 

i fell in love.

and i got hurt

again

What's new right?

except this time

someone else made a move

not me

which was weird

and yet refreshing?

Maybe i misread the situation

maybe i misread her?

who knows.

all it has done is 

reaffirm that i probably

forever will be

alone.

fin

---------------------------------------------